Blog Archives

Feeling Stuck and Desperate to Move Forward?
 - October 26, 2020

By: Kayla Law, RTC

 

First, let’s redefine what “moving forward” looks like. What I hear from clients so often is this need to move forward. To move past where they are, how they feel. To be done with the sticky, yucky and uncomfortable place they are in. Which, as a human being myself, I completely understand! Sometimes I want […] Read the rest

 
Our Feelings Have the Potential to Transform Us
 - August 31, 2020

By: Laura Bradley, MTC, RCS

 

Through feeling all our feelings, we allow ourselves to be open to a transformance.* Many of us we have learned through the years to not feel our feelings — to push them down, to muscle through something. However, it’s often through feeling and processing our feelings — riding the waves of our emotions — that something […] Read the rest

 
5 Ways to Deal with Your Ego’s Negative Talk During Stressful and Uncertain Times
 - August 27, 2020

By: Olivia Nelsen

 

“Practicing loving-kindness toward ourselves seems as good a way as any to start illuminating the darkness of difficult times.” Pema Chodron—When Things Fall Apart. Pema Chodron, renowned meditation Master, offers a simple and yet profound message here and it’s relevant more than ever now as we navigate the uncertainty of the pandemic and the unfolding […] Read the rest

 
Dealing with Overwhelm: 13 Things You Can Do for Your Well-Being
 - June 8, 2020

By: Nate Torhjelm, RTC

 

I think one of the things that can be really tough right now is a sense of overwhelm. With our day-to-day routine so disrupted, it can be hard to know where to start. Should I get more work done? Should I rest more? Should I do something creative? Should I clean up? Should I go […] Read the rest

 
Coping with Uncertainty: A Simple Way to Help Ease the Struggle (video)
 - May 29, 2020

By: Nate Torhjelm, RTC

 

Even as some businesses and stores begin to re-open in British Columbia, across Canada, and in countries around the world, a sense of uncertainty continues. There are many questions that only time can answer. Living in the midst of uncertainty can be uncomfortable. For many people the feeling of being unsettled, of not knowing, can […] Read the rest

 
What Does it Mean to be Happy?
 - May 22, 2020

By: Kayla Law, RTC

 

I hear clients say they want to be happy all the time.  Which is lovely, except it’s completely subjective. Each person has a different expectation of what happiness means to them. And much of the time happiness is a momentary experience that we want forever. Society has us believing that being happy means we don’t feel […] Read the rest

 
Creativity in the Time of COVID-19 (video)
 - May 12, 2020

By: Nate Torhjelm, RTC

 

I love the creative process. I love hearing about how people got to the finished song or came up with the idea and see it through. I am seeing so many people connect with their creativity during this time of COVID. From decorating their apartments, cooking beautiful meals, gardening, writing songs and stories, singing and […] Read the rest

 
A Breathing Exercise for Turbulent or Uncertain Times (video)
 - May 7, 2020

By: Kayla Law, RTC

 

These are intense times with a global pandemic, and public health guidelines that have us staying home more. For anyone who’s used to living a fast, busy life, less activity, essentially a pause, can be difficult to do. I invite you to take a few minutes for a deep breathing exercise. I encourage you to […] Read the rest

 
Stronger Together. A Reminder that We Need the Good to Get Through the Bad.
 - April 29, 2020

By: Laura Bradley, Clinical Director & Counsellor

 

On Sunday evening, I was so touched by the Stronger Together / Tous Ensemble TV production. I’m not surprised that it had the largest audience of any non-sports TV program in Canadian history. Or that 1 in 3 Canadians were watching it. It felt good to watch the talented performers, to be part of the […] Read the rest

 
How Do We Let Ourselves Grieve During this Time of COVID-19? (video)
 - April 24, 2020

By: Julie Hughes, RPC

 

Julie shares her expertise and personal experience with heavy feelings of grief, sadness, anxiety during the global pandemic. With so much uncertainty and staying home we’re bound to have bouts of uncomfortable feelings. On a rainy day, inside her car, Julie takes us through some of the ways she deals with these feelings when they […] Read the rest

 
Why Staying Home During a Pandemic is Difficult for Teens
 - April 22, 2020

By: Julie Hughes, RPC

 

And what parents can do about it Teens are one of the vulnerable populations being hit by the mental health effects of the COVID-19 pandemic currently impacting our society. Their ability to cope with these changing times is not just about the hardships of being an adolescent. It’s actually about their brain chemistry being wired differently […] Read the rest

 
Repeat After Me
 - April 15, 2020

By: Kayla Law, RTC

 

Repeat after me: I am doing the best that I can. We are all doing the best that we can.It’s OK to mess up. It’s OK to have feelings. It’s OK to be human. It’s OK to be messy. And it’s OK to slow down. It’s OK to feel like none of this is OK. […] Read the rest

 
10 Tips for Less Stress while Being in Isolation
 - April 11, 2020

By: Kayla Law, RTC

 

At this time more and more of us are having to figure out ways of being with ourselves and our loved ones. Some of us are confined to being alone. Others cannot be alone at all right now. At this time we need compassion for ourselves as we navigate through a period of time that […] Read the rest

 
Search for Meaning, not Happiness
 - April 10, 2020

By: Anna Guest, RTC

 

In her April 7 New York Times article On Coronovirus Lockdown? Look for Meaning, Not Happiness, Emily Esfahani Smith explores how to be resilient, and even thrive, through difficult times. The short answer? Look for meaning rather than happiness. World renowned psychiatrist, Viktor Frankl, wrote decades ago about this idea. As a Holocaust survivor, he […] Read the rest

 
During a Pandemic Physical Distancing Means Therapy Sessions are Different
 - April 1, 2020

By: Anna Guest, RTC

 

The client-counsellor connection does not depend on being in the same room with each other. Give online counselling a try and see how you feel. You may be surprised to find that the connection you seek is still there. Read the rest

 
One Step at a Time. Moment to Moment. We’re All in This Together.
 - March 28, 2020

By: Olivia Nelson, RTC

 

A counsellor’s tips for coping well during COVID-19 Things certainly feel strange right now, to say the least. Nothing as we know it is quite the same and from all angles the COVID-19 virus has impacted our lives, our families, our society and the world at large, and may I add, in a very short […] Read the rest

 
Creating Connection Matters Even More During Social Distancing, Isolation and Quarantine
 - March 23, 2020

By: Kayla Law, RTC

 

Staying connected with family and friends, and creating new connections within our community will help keep us strong. Read the rest

 
Coping During the Pandemic
 - March 15, 2020

By: Julie Hughes

 

In her article "Coping During the Pandemic," Steadfast counsellor Julie Hughes shares the physiology reasons for our fear and provides some guidance on how to cope. Read the rest

 
How Stress and Our Nervous System Play a Role in Relationship
 - May 9, 2018

By: Julie Hughes

 

Couples often ask me why they can’t seem to get out of their negative cycle and change the dysfunctional behaviors that often lead to escalating conflicts. I typically explain how our sympathetic nervous system reacts to stress in relationship, particularly when we are not feeling emotionally safe. The first step is always to identify the […] Read the rest

 
How We Give Our Love Relationships a Little Tender Loving Care
 - February 14, 2018

 

Steadfast Counselling therapists were asked to share their favourite ways to give their love relationships some TLC or ways they reconnect with their partner. Here’s what we had to say. Maybe your favourite is similar, or maybe this gives you an idea of something you can do today with your partner! “I love walking in […] Read the rest

 
Aligning with Love
 - September 26, 2017

By: Kevin Rose

 
love is knowing and being known

My wife and I are celebrating our 29th wedding anniversary this year.  We were high school sweethearts and dated for several years before marrying in our early twenties, so essentially we have shared our lives since adolescence.  That time has been filled with incredible joy, adventure, beautiful children, mistakes, crisis, pride and elation. When I […] Read the rest

 
Relationships are Works in Progress, in the Best Way
 - August 22, 2017

By: Katrina Rose

 

One of my greatest lessons in relationship has been the acceptance that knowing someone, truly knowing someone, is a work in progress. A willingness to keep knowing my partner is the single most important element in our relationship. I met my husband when I was 14, I am now 52 and most people would conclude […] Read the rest

 
Celebrating the Adventure of Relationship
 - August 8, 2017

By: Nasreen Gulamhusein

 

This summer my husband, Adrian, and I celebrated six years of marriage with a much-needed baby-free overnight downtown. We’ve done a lot together since we met – traveled far and wide, moved provinces (sometimes together, sometimes not), changed careers (both of us, more than once!), bought property, married (twice, honouring Indian and Chinese traditions), lost […] Read the rest

 
Co-Parenting – How to Make the Transition Easier on Everyone
 - July 18, 2017

By: Nasreen Gulamhusein & Alexa Gelles

 

For parents, divorce is not the end of the couple’s journey together. While the relationship may have changed from loving to hostile, parents don’t have the same luxury of leaving behind the relationship that childless couples do. This is because the co-parenting relationship continues for as long as children are in the picture. For many […] Read the rest

 
Celebrating Motherhood in Every Woman
 - May 14, 2017

By: Nasreen Gulamhusein

 

The idea of “motherhood” has become synonymous with the mother-child bond. But what if you don’t have a mother to celebrate with today. Or you don’t have any children — by choice or circumstance.  What then do you celebrate today? Well, you can still celebrate motherhood — but instead you widen the context of what […] Read the rest

 
Grief and Grieving: Lessons in Loss
 - May 7, 2017

By: Kevin Rose

 

Life is synonymous with loss. Losses are part of life; in every moment something is shifting, being born, and passing away. We understand this philosophically, on an intellectual level, yet when we experience a deep loss we are suddenly faced with powerful, painful and often overwhelming feelings. We feel the pain of loss for many […] Read the rest

 
New to Couples Counselling? Unsure What to Expect? Take a Look Inside the Therapy Experience
 - April 25, 2017

By: Alexa Gelles

 

Do you find the very idea of relationship counselling quite nerve-wracking or downright scary? If you do, you’re not alone. Many people, especially those with no clue about what to expect, find themselves apprehensive and even somewhat frightened. When you’re new to couples counselling, it’s natural to have lots of questions about how it works […] Read the rest

 
Taking ACTION to BE Happy
 - March 28, 2017

By: Laura Bradley

 

Last week was ACT Happy Week – the idea being that conscious ACTIONS lead to chemical shifts resulting in more happiness. For added emphasis we tweaked the name of the week a bit and called it ACT (Be) Happy Week. For us, this spoke to the state of being able to work towards creating real […] Read the rest

 
Why Do We Love Our Dogs So Much?
 - February 20, 2017

By: Katrina Rose

 

Besides the fact that they are soft and cuddly, goofy, funny, smart, loyal and loving… Dogs have cracked the code.  Dogs have an amazing ability to activate in humans the same biochemical response that enhances bonding between mothers and newborn babies. When a mother looks into her newborn baby’s eyes it causes a flood of […] Read the rest

 
Asking for support is a gift we give to our friendship
 - February 18, 2017

By: Nasreen Gulamhusein

 
International Friendship Week

An excerpt from the poem Friendship by David Whyte says: “…the ultimate touchstone of friendship is not improvement, neither of the self nor of the other, the ultimate touchstone is witness, the privilege of having been seen by someone and the equal privilege of being granted the sight of the essence of another, to have […] Read the rest

 
To-Do Lists and Self-Care — Yes, They Can Co-Exist!
 - February 13, 2017

By: Nasreen Gulamhusein

 
To Do Lists and Self-Care

One of the kindest acts of self-care you can practice is to set yourself up for success.  There are so many little ways to do this. For example, when writing out a to-do list for the day, a task-list for the week or, a set of long-term goals – be realistic about the time it […] Read the rest

 
Am I Worth Having the Life I Want? The Importance of Building Our Self-Esteem
 - February 9, 2017

By: Kevin Rose

 

Can I build my self-esteem?  That’s a question I get asked often as a therapist.  But what is self-esteem and how come we focus on it in therapy? From Wikipedia: self esteem reflects a person’s overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her own worth. [It] is a judgment of oneself as well as an attitude […] Read the rest

 
How to Get the Most Out of Therapy
 - February 6, 2017

By: Nasreen Gulamhusein

 

7 Ways You Can Contribute to the Success of Your Counselling Journey Life’s been a struggle lately and you’ve made the decision to move forward with the help and support of a counsellor.  Maybe you are brand new to therapy and have no idea what to expect. Or, maybe you’ve done this before and now […] Read the rest

 
Tis the Season for Self Care
 - December 22, 2016

By: Jennifer Harder

 
Tis the season for self care

I wanted to write and address that December and January is a time of year that can be very trying for some people. Myself included. With December, the holidays come up and anxiety can build around family or lack there of. There can be so many pressures and deadlines. Sometimes going to a social event can […] Read the rest

 
5 Healthy Strategies for Surviving the Holidays
 - December 12, 2016

By: Julie Hughes

 

We all know that the Holidays can be a stressful time of year. For some it’s having the whole family around which can bring up old family dynamics and other stressors, for others it can be having the kids home from school for 2 weeks, while trying to get everything ready; gift shopping, meal planning, […] Read the rest

 
True Intimacy
 - October 27, 2016

By: Laura Bradley

 

A guide to discussing sex and sexuality with your significant other True intimacy is about getting to know and understand someone deeply. Learning about who our partner is sexually is part of that. Our past experiences around sex contribute to our thoughts, feelings and experiences of our sexuality today. Those past experiences that shape or frame […] Read the rest

 
Get Out of Your Mind & Into Your Life
 - October 6, 2016

By: Kevin Rose

 
Acceptance Commitment Therapy

“Get Out of Your Mind & Into Your Life: The New Acceptance and Commitment Therapy” is a highly-recommended workbook written by Steven C. Hayes and Spencer Smith. It’s also a helpful phrase to remember and remind us all to get out of our own way to achieve the life we want. The workbook is a […] Read the rest

 
Courage comes from the heart
 - September 20, 2016

By: Katrina Rose

 
Courage comes from the heart

In David Whyte’s “Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words,” this passage about courage really struck me.     “Courage is a word that tempts us to think outwardly, to run bravely against opposing fire, to do something under besieging circumstance, and perhaps, above all, to be seen to do it in […] Read the rest

 
How Gord Downie is teaching us to “die well”
 - August 25, 2016

By: Julie Hughes

 

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past three months, you’ve probably heard of the terminal cancer diagnosis of Gord Downie (lead singer to the Tragically Hip, also known as The Hip). This tragic story has been unfolding on a national scale in Canada, since news came out. The Hip have miraculously managed to […] Read the rest

 
Creating a Stronger, Intimate Connection through Conversation and Vulnerability
 - August 12, 2016

By: Laura Bradley

 
Couples Connection Conversation Exercise

This is a great exercise couples can use when you start to feel disconnected or if you are already feeling disconnected. The goal of this exercise is to create more intimacy in your relationship. It sounds really simple: on a given day, one person talks for 15 minutes while the other person listens for 15 […] Read the rest

 
Relationship Struggles: The “Happily Ever After” Myth vs Reality
 - August 10, 2016

By: Nasreen Gulamhusein

 
Relationship Struggles

The message of finding “the one” so that you can live “happily ever after in love” is everywhere. Movies, books, TV shows, magazines are just a few of the many places that build this myth. Buying into it can be dangerous because we start to believe that struggles are not part of being in a relationship. […] Read the rest

 
How to Use Your Wedding Vows to Sustain a Healthy Relationship
 - February 10, 2016

By: Laura Bradley

 
Revisiting wedding vows to sustain your relationship

Reflecting back on our wedding day brings back joyful memories. “It was the best day of my life,” many say with pride. It was, after all, a marvelous, happy day filled with anticipation, love and promise. Promises were made that day in the form of wedding vows. Many couples write their own vows, making them […] Read the rest

 
How to Reconnect with Your Partner & Strengthen Your Relationship
 - January 27, 2016

By: Laura Bradley

 

5 ways to start the year cultivating connection As we look ahead to 2016, it’s a good time to reflect on what we want to have, do, feel, experience and be in 2016 – and to start with our most significant relationship – our partner. The holidays can be busy and stressful with so many […] Read the rest

 
How to Express Anger in a Safe Manner
 - January 13, 2016

By: Kevin Rose

 
expressing anger in a safe manner

Part 3 of 3 by Kevin Rose RPC, RTC The expression of anger is safe when it is done with permission and clear, loving intention. That’s less of a paradox than it sounds. Anger is valid and necessary and full of information; but you have to be present to it as it manifests for you […] Read the rest

 
What is Driving Your Anger?
 - November 18, 2015

By: Kevin Rose

 

Feelings are funny things: we don’t get to choose when we feel something, but we do get to decide what to do when we have the awareness of what is happening for us. So anger can be a signal to take a moment, check in with yourself: what does anger really feel like in your […] Read the rest

 
Anger — What is it Good for?
 - November 1, 2015

By: Kevin Rose

 
What is anger?

Part 1 of 3 by Kevin Rose RPC, RTC “Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.” –Maya Angelou Clients often ask me about anger. It’s a popular topic in therapy: indeed for many of us the experience of anger has carried such an […] Read the rest

 
How Does Counselling Help?
 - March 19, 2015

By: Kevin Rose

 
How does counselling help?

My personal path to understanding the value of therapy during my own challenging times. “What does a counsellor know that I don’t?” That’s a question I asked myself before starting therapy: my exact words were “What can some counsellor do for me that I can’t do for myself?” Recognizing a need for help I mean, […] Read the rest

 
Want More Love in Your Relationship? Here are Some Easy Ways to Do Just That.
 - February 24, 2015

By: Laura Bradley

 

One of the most, if not the most important things we need as human beings, is love. To know and feel loved. To know that we matter, and that we are attached and connected to someone. This is an inherent need. We are wired (as babies) to reach for someone in need and to respond […] Read the rest

 
Understanding Your Sleep Pattern is the First Step to Feeling Better
 - January 23, 2015

By: Laura Bradley

 
Understanding Your Sleep Pattern

Sleep can sometimes elude us this time of year. Not getting enough sleep can impact you in many ways such as not having enough energy for your day, your mood, general sense of well-being, your feelings of self esteem and self worth, and your ability to do your best in relationships. People who do not […] Read the rest

 
15 Ways to Get a Better Sleep
 - 

By: Laura Bradley

 
Getting a Better Sleep

If you are not getting enough sleep try this: Create a routine: telling your body and your mind that it is time to let go of your day and get some rest is very important. In our fast-paced world we do not have built-in signals to let our bodies and our minds know it is […] Read the rest

 
Why This Time of Year Can Be Challenging
 - November 14, 2014

By: Laura Bradley

 
A challenging time of year

This time of year we hear a lot of people say: They feel depressed… Anxious Just not quite like themselves They feel low They feel unmotivated “ lost my drive” “want to make a change and do not know how” “ I feel stuck and do not know how come” Restless Old challenges often set […] Read the rest

 
Date #2 — Are You Asking the Right Question?
 - January 24, 2014

By: Christina Bianchini

 
The Second Date

Easy relationship guidelines make a difference right from the beginning – yes, even from that first bowl of popcorn! We will share with you some of our do’s and don’ts   On the Beat 94.5 the question was asked, “On a second date, if your date says ‘no’ to sharing popcorn, does that mean that […] Read the rest

 
Holidays on Overload
 - December 12, 2013

By: Christina Bianchini

 
dreading holidays

Dear Steadfast Counsellors, I am really dreading the holidays this year. My family is spread out because of splits and remarriages, and I don’t know how to attend everything and keep everyone happy. I get that I shouldn’t complain because some people don’t have any family, but having so much is very stressful too. I […] Read the rest

 
5 Healthy Strategies for Surviving the Holidays
 - December 9, 2013

By: Laura Bradley

 
surviving the holidays

We all know that the Holidays can be a stressful time of year. For some it’s having the whole family around which can bring up old family dynamics and other stressors, for others it can be having the kids home from school for 2 weeks, while trying to get everything ready; gift shopping, meal planning, […] Read the rest