October 26, 2020
By: Kayla Law, RTC
First, let’s redefine what “moving forward” looks like.
What I hear from clients so often is this need to move forward. To move past where they are, how they feel. To be done with the sticky, yucky and uncomfortable place they are in. Which, as a human being myself, I completely understand! Sometimes I want out too!
The thing is that healing is circular and always shifting and changing — completely opposite of the linear way we expect the world to work.
I find what helps us move forward is allowing ourselves to slow down and meet ourselves where we are. Right at this moment. To sit here in the mud and feel it. Be with it. To not know how to do it. To not understand how we will get out of it. Just be here.
Allowing ourselves to be honest about where we are is the first step to moving forward. Putting the swords down, and choosing to stop fighting. Because once we are honest with ourselves, and those around us, we can start moving forward. We can start healing the hurt, the pain and the trauma. We can start to create space to really meet ourselves in this place.
This point is so valuable — even when the movement is in circles, it’s healing.
If you are looking to move on, move forward or move past, are you also ready to meet yourself where you are? Are you willing to step into choosing to be kind to yourself at this moment? It is always your choice-to be kind to yourself, or not.
When you are willing to choose kindness towards yourself, I promise you it can get better. And if you are willing to step into doing the hard work of diving into your pain and sitting with it, the transformation you eventually experience will be completely worth it.
We all deserve to remember our own power, our own worth and no matter what, we deserve to be loved.
Are you open to trying it? Curious about what it’s like to meet yourself where you are?
These four journal prompts are one way you can explore where you are right now, and unpack what is going on for you in your life. Any answer is the perfect answer, it’s just about getting curious about what’s happening for you.
- What part of your personal story do you wish you could move past, or just get over?
- Taking a deep breath in and a deep breath out notice what do you feel in your body? Do you feel anything physically, or mentally? What does that sensation or experience want to communicate?
- What did you need more than anything at that time in your life?
- Imagine that it is a friend of yours who is walking through that very same experience. What would you want to remind them of or let them know to help them?
Kayla Law is an Associate Counselor with Steadfast Counselling and a Master Therapeutic Counsellor with the Association of Cooperative Counselling Therapists of Canada (ACCT).