Date #2 — Are You Asking the Right Question?
January 24, 2014
By: Christina Bianchini

Easy relationship guidelines make a difference right from the beginning – yes, even from that first bowl of popcorn! We will share with you some of our do’s and don’ts

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On the Beat 94.5 the question was asked, “On a second date, if your date says ‘no’ to sharing popcorn, does that mean that they are not into you?”

This is where relationships begin to go off course; not because they are not into you, but because you are asking yourself the wrong question!

Here is what is wrong with that question:

  • your focus is all about their feelings and thoughts
  • you are talking to your friends about their point of view and not your date
  • you are over personalizing their choice

What you can do to help build a relationship

  • be clear with yourself on what your goal is in spending time with them; is it for fun, dating, a relationship etc.?
  • stick to your goal
  • ask yourself: are into them? what is happening with your feelings?
  • How come sharing popcorn matters to you? It may be important, it may represent something else – if so, make sure that, what it represents is realistic for a second date.

Ultimately, if you know what you are looking for is a potential relationship, then this first part is important. Some of the things required to build long-term relationships are:

  • to be curious about how the other person sees the world,
  • to try new things
  • to have fun together
  • an ability to be flexible
  • to show you can understand the other
  • to know yourself

At our house we love popcorn, everyone gets their own bowl and we are totally into each other! So who knows – they just may be into you!

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